Sunday, June 6, 2010

Finding Yourself Through Insecurities

Insecurities can paralyze you with fear, failure, our aesthetic looks or whatever that seems uncomfortable or embarrass. We can sometimes step into unfamiliar territories and doesn’t know all the plans or objective to construct your path. We have goals of what we want to accomplish; to aspire and to achieve goals; our dreams about life and visualizing all prospects obtaining those projects. Sometimes these dreams become defer or lives revolve to something different. Unconsciously, we vicariously live through some else’s life, wondering what happen. You can feel unauthentic of not truly being in your purpose in life. How can we achieve these goals and accomplish those dreams that kept us being our divine self?

I’ve been through many of these paths myself, meandering around life labyrinth maze, trying to find that unequivocal question, “Who Am I? “What Is My Divine Purpose? Those questions all seems such a mystery, the simplicities are easy to know but hard to answer. It’s easy to know because we lived in that present each time we have breath, making love, being around love ones, doing daily rituals, hobbies, talents, you know these things because you are doing something; you know the time, place and person. Everything is brought to your attention; it’s just basically comes down to choice. Now, you may be wondering well if I KNOW, then why is it hard for me to answer. Well, because we are not aware of the circumstances, honest truths; our relations to balance of feminine and masculine energy; our connection to the Universe, our love for Mother Nature, sacred sexuality, sacred spirituality and other host of metaphysically knowledge and science of life. So, it’s hard to answer when you have failed to notice most of the components of your spiritual relations. We have and me included have been spoon fed only through rhetoric philosophy by dogma religion. This has suppress our innate natural way of living, creating and being prosperous; afraid of what people may say.

I lived in this invisible line of being myself or being a sell out for someone to like me and understand my point of view. I’ve gone through if I was pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough to belong inside a whole circle, I would be happy. I’m here to tell you that shit doesn’t work. It’s too time consuming and an emotional rollercoaster ride. I felt trap inside my own matrix of lies. I had gotten good at hiding the truth about if I was envy of someone, wanted to have that person looks or wit, having that type of boyfriend, if I was cool to be around was my consumption of bullshit. In the last five years, it became apparent I couldn’t live like this anymore. I became disconnected with people; became more alone through this decipherable process; being anti-social; gain a lot of weight; didn’t have abundance in love or money….I became careless and fear became my lover.

Right now, I’m repairing all the emotional damage I’ve cause upon myself. I became tried of the misfortunes I was contributing in my life. I’ve had glimpses of my life exposing the good quality ones, but like anything you have fear being not good enough. My lack of commit to anything opportunities passed by me. But with my clarity of thought, I now know nothing is ever amiss. Opportunities is just reflecting that you were not ready for that assignment; and that everything is a circle; what goes around will come around, again…yessssssss!!!!.

I do have one undeniable truth and answer, that I’m a sensual and sexual person. That’s the one quality of insurance I have deposit. No matter if I’m overweight, having a bad day whatever, I know that my sexual energy is very potent. Within this body I was still vivacious, sensual and sexy. I am in tune with my sexuality, I always have. This is what gives me hope. I KNOW my capabilities in that divine area. Since I am speaking my truth, sometimes in my general life I will suppress my sensuality around people, until I get home to be myself again. I sometimes wish there was a camcorder, to witness the real me; comfortable in my body. On second thought, let’s not….mmmmm…I’m not that naughty…ha, ha.

The more I learn about sacred sexuality, the goddess movement, the Cosmic Mother and my connections of my hip to the earth. It’s my time to rise from the cervices behind close door and fulfill my divine purpose to become part of this feminine movement. I’m the vessel for the Cosmic Mother. It’s my duty to teach, create a better place for all living beings; to be inspire through other beautiful women; to keep the planet beautiful and irenic; create harmonious movement with our hips so the kundalini can rise from the spine and manifest healing and wealth; to balance the sacred masculine man; to make love for adoration for each other….yes..yes..yessss.

This is a journey of knowing and answering those simple questions “Who Am I? “What Is My Divine Purpose? The insecurities we may have will dissipate into thin air. We can be electric and build magnetic aura fields around ourselves to be secure inside our own divine body. Let’s not hide anymore…peace.

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